Sometimes you may not be going through depression or anxiety, but someone you know or love is. It can be hard to find a way to help them. Part of my three-point action plan was to “act and provide support”. But I realised a lot of people don’t know how they can provide support. So in this blog post I will give you some do’s and don’ts of how to help someone with depression or anxiety. Consider this as a basic guideline.
To help someone with depression in a meaningful way, you need to start the conversation. It’s important to have the courage to speak up and find your words. Remember your role is to provide support, not change how people feel.
Here are some words to avoid
- “I know exactly how you feel”
No one knows exactly how someone else feels. This is not a helpful way to make someone feel understood when their depression has become overwhelming
- “Everyone gets depressed sometimes”
This sounds dismissive, and it’s not true. Everyone gets sad sometimes or has a bad day. Everyone does Not get depressed.
- “You have no reason to be depressed”
This can make people feel guilty, ashamed, or like their feelings don’t matter. Life events can sometimes play a role, but often depression has no specific trigger or cause.
Sometimes it’s hard to know the right words to say when someone is depressed. Here are some ways to ask if someone is ok.
- “I’ve noticed that you’ve been _______ lately. Is there anything you want to talk about?
- “I’ve gotten the feeling that you’re having a difficult time. I’m worried about you. What’s going on?
- “It seems like you are going through a lot right now. Can we talk about what’s bothering you? Maybe I can help.
- “You seem really down lately, and I’m starting to wonder if you might be depressed.
- “I care about you, and it seems like you’re really struggling. Would you be open to talking to the school counselor about what you are going through.
When someone opens up to you about being depressed, try to fight the urge to give advice. Your job is to just give them support during hard times. Here are some things you could say.
- “You’re not alone in this. I may not understand how you feel, but I care about you and want to help?”
- “Asking for help is a sign of strength. Have you talked to the counselor about this?”
- “I’m here for you. Whenever you want to talk, I’ll listen.
- “Depression is a health issue that can be treated. What steps can you take to talk to a doctor or counselor about how you’re feeling?”
- “What can I do to support you?
Sometimes when people are depressed they feel like they don’t matter or that nobody cares about them. A single act of kindness can change that and make them feel like they matter. Kindness can have a “snowball” effect as the impact of your actions often inspires others to do the same. You can try this out by holding the door for someone behind you or give someone a compliment. This doesn’t really take up any time in your day and can really make someone happy.
These are some ways to provide support to someone who is going through depression or anxiety. I hope that this post helps you to help someone else