My experience with anxiety

As all of you know my platform is about creating mental health awareness in kids. However, what most of you don’t know is my reason behind choosing this platform. This issue has a special place in my heart because I can relate to the people who suffer from a mental health problem.

It all started about 2 days after my 8th birthday. We were going somewhere and some conversation (I don’t remember what now) had triggered my anxiety. That night I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned but my worries kept me awake. Finally at about 11 pm I walked downstairs and told my mom about what was happening. She asked me what was happening but I couldn’t explain it to her. I told her that I felt like there was a “lump” in my throat. She came upstairs and put me to bed. For the first 2 days this happened, my parents thought that I was making it up. They told me to be strong, and to shake it off. These were people who wanted to help me, but they just did not realize that anxiety could happen to a kid. This lump was making it hard to eat or drink. Now, there was not an actual lump in my throat, it just felt like it. When my parents noticed that I wasn’t eating they called my pediatrician, who gave referrals to a therapist, who had a month-long waitlist. We tried so many things to make me feel better, from massages to math, but nothing worked, not even reading (my favorite thing to do). To me, it felt like this was NEVER going to go away. It felt so hopeless that I taped a piece of paper that said “shut up mind right now.”. Eventually, we tried a guided meditation on YouTube. At first guided meditation was really hard. I wanted a solution immediately, but meditation doesn’t work like that. It required patience, which I didn’t have at the time. I started to develop patience, and then meditation was super helpful. The result wasn’t instantaneous but it worked. Slowly but surely I started to feel better. Soon instead of my anxiety happening every day, it happened only once or twice a week. Soon, it was a rare occurrence. However it still has not completely gone away, and it probably never will. The best I can do is have efficient strategies to deal with it. Even though guided meditation helped me it may not be the best strategy for you. Try doing something that you like to help you feel better.

Everybody goes through rough times every once in a while but getting support from others is really important. I like to imagine it like you are carrying a huge load of bricks. You’ve tried for a while and you still cannot move it. Eventually, you call someone to help you, and together you can share the burden, instead of one person carrying the whole thing .There are still some people out there who believe that kids having a mental health disorder is ridiculous. That’s why it is important to share our stories to let people know that this is a real issue.

P.S. I still do a lot of guided meditation. Sometimes when I have one of my anxiety attacks, my parents will play a meditation video on their phone at night when I go to bed. They are so relaxing that sometimes I am asleep before it even ends! Personally, I feel like guided meditation rids my mind of all my worries, and calms me down a whole lot. I generally do the sleep ones, but there are some for a lot of other things. This is the one I like the best. You can find a lot more on YouTube and see which one works best for you. Click play below to do the meditation:

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